i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
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