My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
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