perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
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