I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
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