Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
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