So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
Randomize
