My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
Randomize