hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
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