She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
