i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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