I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
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