Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
I want to fling myself into the sun
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Randomize
