ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
Randomize
