Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
Randomize
