remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
Why are your pants in the freezer?
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
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