I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
Randomize
