JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize