Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
Randomize
