so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
There was a lot of him and a little penis
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
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