feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Randomize
