this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
