Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
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