hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
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I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
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That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
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