Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
