Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
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