12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
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