Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
Randomize