I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.