Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
The adults are the big ones right?
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
Randomize
