I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
