dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
Randomize
