So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
Randomize
