Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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