if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
