yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
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