I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
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