Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
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