Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
Randomize
