I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
