Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
MIDGETS
????
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
Randomize