trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
