Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
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