Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
Randomize
