well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
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