We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
Randomize
