What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
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