I'm so tired of dating women who lie about their age. You show up feeling like you need to follow them around with a dust pan and a broom.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Randomize
