I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize