He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Randomize
