so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
Randomize
