So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
Randomize
