chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
Randomize
