Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
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