he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
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