I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
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