He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
Randomize
