Pappa wants mamma naked
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
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